What Mother’s Day Really Means and How to Celebrate Without Breaking Traditions

Mother’s Day in the UK falls on the 10th of March this year (2024) and becomes Mothering Sunday in Britain because of its relationship to Easter, Lent and the lunar cycle. Sounds supernatural, but it isn’t. Some people consider it spiritual, thanks to the relationship with the Christian festival of Lent.

If we go back in time to the Middle Ages when life revolved around the church, families with working age people would look forward to Mothering Sunday as a time when the money earners would return to their ‘mother’ churches, to their family homes and the people who care for them. Children as young as ten could be sent out to work, so the celebration days around Easter became the time families got together.

The tradition became Mothering Sunday, and as the dates of Lent vary, so does the date Mothering Sunday falls on. It’s only later and as Britain becomes more commercial and time off is considered a gift that Mothering Sunday or Mother’s Day is for celebrating your mum and not based on religious activities, although in some communities, the two are indelibly linked.

Interestingly, Mother’s Day is also called Refreshment Sunday. It’s a respite or day off from fasting halfway through Lent and depending on what you’re giving up, a well earned day off from being good. Some downtime to kick back and enjoy a round of darts, a game of bingo, a dip in the pool or some contemplation in an ice bath, a lovely cup of tea and a biscuit, whatever you consider your favourite downtime activity.

Blame the Americans for Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day, as we know it, has come to us from across the pond. Much like Halloween, Mother’s Day in its current form came from the US. Anna Jarvis, whose mother was a peace activist, treated wounded soldiers in the US Civil War, and in 1907, Anna campaigned for a day to honour the role played by mothers and caregivers, in particular her own mother. Anna never had children, but that didn’t stop her from promoting the celebration.

American Mother’s Day is celebrated on the second Sunday of May each year, so it’s not that closely related to our day. Answer this: does a British mother who lives in the US get double treats and extra downtime? Yes, of course she does! By the way, it’s National Barbecue Day on the 16th of May, so why not combine the two and make the day really special?

Here in the UK, May has the most bank holidays, two in fact, so May might well be the favourite months for those who need sofa time, relaxation time and time to indulge in all things fun.

Mothers Want Quality, Not Quantity 

To be clear, you don’t have to be someone’s biological mother to qualify for a Mother’s Day treat. When we say it takes a village to bring up a child, in this context, we mean it. Mothering Sunday celebrates aunties (related or not), grandmothers (nanny, nan, grandma, granny, nana or nona), godparents and family friends – Mother’s Day is for all matriarchs. Foster mothers, adopted mothers, and women who look after children (that includes dinner ladies), all are included in this celebration.

Back to quality over quantity, mothers from the tick box above prefer a well-thought-out gift or present than a massive, overblown, impersonal expression of extravagance (often guilt related), and that gift could be a £1 bunch of daffs or a handwritten card because it’s the delivery that’s important. If you can visit, you should. If you can’t, then that’s what video calls are for. A text is nice, but it’s too often used as a get-out-of-jail card. An Instagram collage is very GenZ, but we love it (secretly). So, let’s get inventive.

Mothers definitely don’t want to think the visits are because it’s Mother’s Day, so it’s a tightrope to walk. After all, in an ideal life, it would be Mother’s Day all the time, just like it should be Valentine’s Day every day – you don’t need a specific day to show your appreciation. So what’s to do?

How to Ignore Mother’s Day

Not everyone wants to remember their mother for whatever reason, and this has at last been recognised by retailers. You will often see an option to opt out of Mother’s Day communications; this is a big step forward for those who find 10th of March difficult or triggering.

If you are someone who doesn’t do Mother’s Day, that’s fine. There are plenty of people in this camp. You can always change the narrative to Her Day and think about the dinner ladies and caregivers who deserve a mention, or just practise some self-love and give yourself a break.

Think Laterally on Mothering Sunday

A lateral thinker would try to find a creative solution to Mother’s Day and what the matriarch might like. Often, it’s a simple thank you and appreciation of all they have done that means the most. The dinner lady who left a meal for a boy who wouldn’t get dinner otherwise deserves that bunch of daffs. 

Think about the jobs your mum hates and do that task. Gardening or ironing, and how about a lovely family meal cooked by someone other than your mum? Walk the dog or collect the dry cleaning – this all sounds a bit dreary, but it’s the thought that counts, and that really is the point.

If you’re crafty, then make something. Look around any home, and you’ll find a badly made pot or vase and some terrible paintings on plates, plaster cast feet and hands, old baby shoes and socks, all gathering dust, but mums love them. 

Mother’s Day Around the World

Mother’s Day in India is in October and is part of a ten-day celebration called Durga Puja. Hindus honour Durga, the mother of goddesses. It’s essentially a family day that celebrates caregivers.

In Japan, after World War II, March was the month that mothers who had lost sons in the war were remembered. Red carnations were presented to mothers of dead children and white to those whose children had survived. Today, only white carnations are used to celebrate Mother’s Day, as white carnations symbolise the endurance of motherhood in Japanese culture.

In France, the last Sunday in May is the ‘Day of Mothers’. Again, this is an after-the-war story. In 1920, the French government awarded medals to mothers of large families for re-population after World War I and again after WWII – The traditional mère gift is a flower-shaped cake.

Egypt adopted Mother’s Day in 1956, and this European tradition spread through the Arab world; although Muslims do not celebrate Mother’s Day specifically, they believe that mothers should be celebrated every day. 

In Turkey, Mother’s Day is the second Sunday in May, and those who celebrate often recite a list of reasons to be thankful to mothers and those who care. This is a lovely gesture as long as they don’t mention banging the vacuum cleaner against your bedroom door when you’re trying to sleep after a night in the club!

Australians also celebrate Mother’s Day in May, as do Kiwis. In China, Mother’s Day is known as ‘Mǔqīn jié 母亲节.’ Mother’s Day is an important part of Chinese culture, which began in 1919, and was created by women who wanted to honour mothers and other women who deserved recognition. 

The Antrosht festival is Mother’s Day in East Africa, celebrated at the beginning of the rainy season in October. It’s an excuse to gather everyone together, with family members coming from far and wide for a family meal and celebration. It’s not clear who cooks, but let’s hope it’s not the mother; give that woman a day off!

Give the Woman a Day Off

Not all mothers give birth. The mother of the nation is Mother Teresa. This mother founded the Missionaries of Charity, a religious order dedicated to serving the poor, in particular children. After leaving home to become a missionary, Teresa never saw her own mother again.

How about Jane Addams, who won a Nobel Peace Prize in 1931 for her devotion to underprivileged children? Addams was a childless mother who devoted her life to caring for others.

While being a mother is a gift in itself, the ultimate gift to any mum is a day off. A day off from being a mother looks like a walk in the park (literally) binge-watching Netflix or Disney+ or even having fun at an online casino and not making the tea. Spending time doing what your mother wants to do is the only rule which takes us back to a round of darts or a game of bingo.